Monday, April 29, 2013

Sacred Moment Monday

Have you ever had a moment that you knew was meaningful but did not yet know it's meaning?

That was me Sunday.

At the end of last week's session, my director suggested walking through a Labyrinth as a spiritual exercise.

Okay. But how the heck was I gonna find one on the Central Coast. Well, lo and behold, turns out there is one pretty close.  Who knew?

After a little time at the beach of reading and reflecting I knew it was time to not "think" about it but "enter it." As in, submit to an exercise and see what happens.

So I did.

I walked in, one foot in front of the other, and went about my merry labyrinth way. Until.....


I stopped about a third of the way and was met with the unexpected.  I was over it.  Nope, I'm done. And with it came the flood of frustration, hurt, and weariness I was feeling with God. Tears and questions and places unknown that felt just kinda done.

I stood there a good while and for no particular reason started walking again.


Then I got here.

Seriously? Im near the entrance again? Am I getting in any way nearer that darn center!?

I M P A T I E N C E. ARGH! Why does it go on and on and on.

I decide to sit down for a bit. Letting myself feel tired and not pretend it's okay.

And I was surprised by what I etched in the dirt...

So you'd expect I'd have felt some sort of ethereal comfort when she arrived.

Like God was sending a messenger,  "Beloved you are not alone. Others are on this path."

Nope, honestly I felt frustrated that now my time and "spiritual journey" was being disrupted. Someone else was in my territory and I didn't like it. Those parts of me that just want to be left alone in my mess reared their head quickly. Very quickly.

And I don't know why I finally got up, maybe her walking had something to do with it, but I did.  And I walked.



What the ?!

I ended up at the entrance.

A wrong turn?

Seriously? Seriously!?

I embarked on this labyrinth walk in many ways to affirm that these interior wrestlings and prickly places coming out in me are not detouring me or setting me off course, rather drawing me in to Christ.  Closer to life in him and with him.

This. is. not. how. it. was. supposed. to. go.

And to top it off my ethereal messenger ends up at the center in no time!?




I walked over to a bench and sat by a trickling stream. Of course Psalm 23 pops in and memories of other wearying times where those verses flooded my heart....

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.

But what the heck, I walked the path and ended up on the outside. It felt like my worst fear being realized. That I did in fact go off course, and though it was an exercise, what was this saying about my soul.

Then the reasonable person within me said, Well just go walk it again. But this time don't over think it, just walk it right through. 

Plain. and. Simple.

And I did. Same curves, same veering near the center, then away, then near again, only this time...

I believe there was a sacred moment--probably a few--in this exercise. But like many things I experience in the christian life the moment happened and now I'm sorta in this waiting-it-out, what-was-that? and-now-only-You-can-reveal-what-You-have-for-me-in-Your-timing-and-Your-special-way.

So there's my sacred moment, of sorts.


Anonymous said...

It's certainly a journey with many turns and some surprises....

Anonymous said...

Wow Susie ! I bet I'd get lost too. I have no sense of direction.