To KILL a Mockingbird

Yea, don't oooo and ahhhh at the cute little birdy.  Good riddens!


For weeks now right around dinner time, let's call her Maggie the Mockingbird, taunts, scrutinizes, and discriminately gocks at our poor little neighborhood cat, Olive


Little "Olive" (as we like to call her, we don't know her real name) makes her way around our house about once a day.  I assume her owners are somewhere nearby?  But there's something about her demeanor that begs the question, "Are you loved?"


She lingers around and quietly makes her way near me and something about this little thing beckons me, "Acknowledge her."


Now I am not a cat lover, but little Olive has won her way into my heart.


And that is why I am indignant at this Maggie the Mockingbird and her taunting.  I wish I had a video of it for you.  She just sort of hovers around Olive, finds a tree limb nearby, and cackles "Goooooooock!  Goooooock! Mwwwwwaaaaa!  Gooooock!!! Mwwwwwwaaaaa!!!"  


How does poor little Olive ever find rest or reprieve with all that obnoxious chatter!?


And so today, I HAD FINALLY HAD IT!  When I got home from my walk and saw this interaction happening yet again, I sauntered over to that tree branch and yelled, "STOP IT!  Leave her alone.  You cannot torment her like this anymore!"  (I even claimed it in the name of Jesus I was so rowelled up!)


And then I went over to little cowering Olive and said, "Now Olive you can't let her treat you like this!  This is not OK.  Fight back girl!"


Now, moments later as I type, I notice the mocking has finally quieted.  I do hope Maggie has flown far, far away never to return (but sadly I'm guessing she will, tomorrow, at just the right time). And I wonder now about Olive, why day after day she lets Maggie attack her?  How a big cat like her can be taunted by such a punitive little bird? I wonder about her life at home and what she's seen and heard since she was a kitty.  What are her owners like? Do they feed her well, rub her belly, and cuddle up against her in the wee hours of the night? Or is she used to the cackling, feeling small and neglected?


And then things becomes clear.


Really clear.


Olive is not unlike you and I.


Why day after day do we listen to the mocking voices in our head? Agree with them? Why do we again and again cower in fear and agree with the gocking lies of the enemy? Why we don't rise up and take our place?


But as I think about it more and how I felt about Olive I realize how we too need our advocates. Someone (most the time more than one) who steps in the gap and says NO MORE! Who fights for us to prevail and not let the Mockingbird win! Who exposes the distortions, puts the punitive bird in it's proper place, and ushers our hearts home to their rightful place nestled with Him.


Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹² For we^[c] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
 ¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. (Ephesians 6: 10-13)


For all you Olives, you are not alone. Take your place. Let's stand! We can do this together.

The Dress(es)

My birthday is June 26th. As long as I can remember I have loved gifts. Giving them. Getting them. The process of finding just the right one. Love it! (I think I get this from my Mom and Dad who have an unbelievable track record of picking out just the right things).

One particular birthday stood out for years, but I wasn't quite sure why? That is until Jesus invited me back there, wanting to rewrite the story in a way only He could.

It was right before my 5th Birthday. I can still remember the anticipation and excitement looking through the children’s catalog (I'm telling you gift giving is a BIG deal). I carefully circled the pages and items I liked. And then... in this cornucopia of catalog goodness... I found it . . .

the most beautiful,

fuchsia pink dress I’d ever seen!

I specifically marked the page and eagerly showed mom my one special wish for my birthday—my princess dress!

My mom always delighted in my over-the-top dress up games and acting antics, I just knew she’d try to get it for me.

That is....

Until....

Mommy had to go away.

"She needs her rest. She'll be back when she feels better."

My dad and family did their best to give me a special birthday, despite not having mom’s help. I got to have my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese! Nothing beat that mouse, my friends, ski-ball and Ms. Pac Man, and, of course, presents!

After the pizza and games, I began to tear into the glorious gifts with great anticipation. I opened them

one by one,

Ooooooing and ahhhhhing at each special gift

... all the while anticipating the Big One (you know, the

one that’s always strategically left last).

THE LAST BOX…and…and…

A Barbie?!

No dress?

Where was my dress?

The one thing I wanted...

The special thing I had asked for.

I was confused...

But she knew?

Nothing in my little heart understood why the very thing I had wished for and delighted in wasn’t given to me? Why would mommy and daddy withhold something good?

And that's the story. This has always been where the memory ended. As I got older, I got my facts organized, completely understanding the impossibility of my mom or dad being able to get the dress because of my mom's medical needs at the time.

So...Jesus, what?

Go there Beloved....let me uncover other things that were going on. Who else was at work in the midst of your confusion and hurt. (When the Lord brought this up , my heart was ripe for the uprooting. There was so much heartache and confusion going on in my present circumstances somehow it made it easier to go there).

No dress?

Where was my dress?

“They tricked you.”

They tricked me. (doubt)

I could hear the deceit.

The distortion of truth.

Exposed.

But Jesus I know the truth now? She couldn't do anything about it?

"Facts” don’t change wounded hearts.

Jesus wanted truth to penetrate that “inmost place," that is where He wanted the transformation, to rewrite the story.

Sweetheart, your heart was assaulted by the enemy, he distorted the picture. And it was intentional. Think about it darling a beautiful, princess dress. Princesses long to be cherished, chosen, rescued.

You see the Evil One has used "the dress" event and numerous other events throughout my life (but the Lord chose this one) to tell me a twisted message; “See what happens when you open up your heart to desire? Don’t get your hopes up because, they’ll only get crushed (fear). Don’t open up your heart and ask for your desires because you’re never going to get it. Just settle, keep that stuff hidden, it’s always safer. And I know you want safety, right?”

He’s right, that wicked, sly, sick serpent is right, I do want safety, but at what cost?

Jesus was gently exposing the cost of self-protection and tenderly showing me more about its origins.

He also exposed the enemies scheme. The enemy used this disappointment and many others to unearth fear, “If you keep your heart open you will only be hurt. Your heart is too much anyway. It’s not safe to let them in. I’ll help you find a way out of your vulnerability so you feel safe again.” (bartering control, a way out of pain).

Fear and control are his greatest tools.

If he can get us to distrust God’s heart, skew our image of God through life’s hurts, make us believe we have nothing to offer, and take us out by bartering back a measure of control (a way out of fear and pain), He has our allegiance. We live a protected, safe, fearful life.

B U T .... once his twisted strategy is exposed that's been

hidden in the darkness,

R O O M is created...

JESUS' light can now permeate!

The Gospel can now touch a place that has yet to hear it in that inmost place...

Enter Dress #2

(to be continued...)

The Uncomfortable S P A C E of Loneliness

Some days I just feel lonely.

And then I'm left wondering....

Is this chosen loneliness? (the kind that is self sabotaging, where I am not reaching out and receiving the love that is already around me, or where I just need to go do something, get out, and be with people).

OR

Is it legit loneliness (the kind everyone of us feels that is good, that draws our heart back, reminds us we're not home yet, and the s p a c e reminds us solitude can be a beautiful place, quieting us to hear God's words)

But my quandary is which am I in?

(What is more sad is I want to figure it out rather than just feel what I'm feeling).

I would hate to be in an unnecessary loneliness.

Do you ever fear that something is "off" with you and somehow you missed the boat to "life?"

I do.

On days like these. (well not all day, but right now in this very moment)

I used to try to distract myself from it. Pretend it wasn't there.

A wise woman (actually many wise people) have helped me see it isn't something to run from, but step into.

Whatever type of loneliness I'm in...the Lord wants to meet there.

So why do I have such a hard time embracing it and not beating myself up over it.

"Susie, it's because you don't reach out enough?"

"You aren't enough so people just aren't interested."

"Susie, you are just too much for people. You're overwhelming so they all flea. See that's why you're still single, no ones telling you why you're alone."

Welcome to my private warfare.

Sadly, this is where loneliness can take me...

If I let it.

But, if I open up and create some heart S P A C E I become more aware, like right now. As I'm writing I'm singing along to an old song Pandora is playing, my ears perk, then my heart warms... (smile)

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me ("I Could Not Ask for More" Edwin McCain)

And this is how Jesus stuns me, each and every time. Where the Romance catches me off guard. (And now you have been invited into it, I didn't know this is where the blog would go?)

He sees.

He really sees.

And regardless of the reason that I'm feeling lonely.

He meets me.

Meets you.

Loved this!