Sharing the J O Y !

You see that lovely face and that giddy beyond measure smile?  That's one of my best friends Lindsay, who I affectionately call my Lindsay Lou.


She got engaged Sunday night to a very special young man, Kyle.


And to say I'm ecstatic for her is an understatement.


See, Linds and I met when she was a junior at University of Arizona,a young Christian turning her life back to Jesus.  I was a new staff girl with Campus Crusade and, in many ways, learning what it meant to be a Christian all over again.  It started out as a mentoring relationship and evolved into a friendship.

But somehow the word friendship seems inadequate to carry the weight of what we've shared together over the years...

Sisterhood


    Companions on the journey


        Warriors for each others hearts


            Intercessors


                 Kindred spirits


                     Teachers


                           Best friends


There's something about walking out life over the years and being able to look back at the seasons and go "Yea, remember when..." or " You used to...but now..." or "I think you struggle with this because of this..." or "You know how in your story... well I feel this from you, wanna talk about it?"


It is SO rare...and I feel blessed, BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE that I have been gifted a friend like her.  It's been hard won at times but so, so worth the journey we've forged.


And so when a day as special as this happens for someone do dear, it's as if the joy is my own. I get a little taste of what Jesus is trying to get across through his life...your life is not your own.  Life is better shared.  Give your life, share your life, offer you life...and you will know me and my kingdom.


Thank you Jesus, that for every special relationship, friendship, and marriage were drawn to we are getting a sacred peek at what we were created to share in... L O V E .

The Father's Day Blog I Didn't at First Want to Write (but did anyway)

I've felt a blog brewing in me but haven't wanted to write it. It's because it involves being single. I don't want to be "the singleness blogger." But there are things to be said, wrestled with, and embraced and so I guess, for now, I'm your gal. (Well, for today and the topic...smile.)

This weekend we celebrate Father's Day.

I love my dad. After last weeks scare (48 hours in the hospital with intestinal problems), it only surfaced all the more my ever-growing love for my Dad: His strength, consistency, presence, provision, advice, humor, warm heart, 'live it up' way of life and love, and how he has impacted my life in so, so many ways.

Which is why, on weeks like these, I wonder, "What must it be like not to have a Dad?"

To grow up without an everyday masculine presence? Did you know that a man, by his mere 'being' has impact. What I mean by this is, a man by his very presence in the room changes things.

Truly.

There was actually a study (which I wish I could remember to site) that showed the impact of a man's physical presence or lack thereof in a little girl's life and how on a biological level it influenced her hormonal balance.

Seriously.

Men, your presence matters!

Fathers, your physical presence (let alone your psychological and emotional presence) has impact.

So what does this have to do with singleness? How do the two issues go hand in hand? Well, it's got me wondering. . .

How does the lack of a father's mere presence growing up (let alone relational and emotional support) effect men's ability to pursue good women these days? How do their internal demons and insecurities related to being fatherless effect the way they are able to pursue, believing they have something good to offer us?

Now I know there are a myriad of reasons for why folks are still single. And it's not just fatherlessness. But I have to wonder if this isn't a significant part of the reason for the vast singleness were experiencing in my generation, the former and the prior?

I know so many outstanding, rather stunning, godly women who are waiting, praying, and left just a little bewildered as to why they aren't getting asked out and pursued more.

What I'm left wondering, as I watch this play out in my own life and the lives of many others, is if this is another symptom of the Masculinity Crisis?

Maybe I'm just trying to make sense of it all and put together the mixxed puzzle pieces that is my dating life?

However reality is, there is an entire generation of fatherless men who have not seen pursuit, commitment, responsibility let alone experienced it being called forth in them. So why wouldn't it follow that some are left rather mystified as to how they would ever pursue let alone commit to a woman they thought "too good for me"?

Which is why I'd like to dedicate this post to all you mentors out there. Those who are fathering the fatherless and calling forth boys to become men.

I believe you are:

CHANGING THE STORY.

SHIFTING THE CLIMATE.

RESTORING THE PAST.

BUILDING A NEW FUTURE.

INFLUENCING GENERATIONS.

The story is being rewritten...

It may not feel like it every day or each meeting, but you are modeling H O P E that their stories can be rewritten and that there is a Father who's Presence changes things, everything.

And because I believe God is in the business of rewriting stories and redeeming things, the very worst things, I'm left wondering how he wants to show us the truths of "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" as it relates to these current issues?

What if God is turning it around?

The wicked ways the enemy has attacked marriage and the family.

The lies the enemy has ingrained in fatherless children's hearts and the father's who left them.

What if he restores things?

Really makes beauty from ashes.

Infuses his life, healing, and hope into these little boys and young men's hearts?

What if he uses older men to "retell" young men their stories? Which makes them feel differently about where they've been, who they are, and where they will go?

And while healing takes time and strong men may be emerging a little later in life, truth is this may be the very thing that changes the face of the family in the 21st century.

Think of the depth and strength of these marriages...as men and women encounter the depth and breadth of Jesus' love for them, deep wounds are healed. Each one may come into the commitment a little more whole with a greater freedom to simply love and be loved.

How much clearer an image it would reflect to a lost world of Christ and His Bride(us) as mature men and women unite in love and invite others into it (kids, friends, families, co-workers). Imperfect for sure, but somehow more settled into the imperfect, grace-filled life of loving someone enough to stay in it for the long haul.

And, to me, if this is even a hint of what might be happening, well then, it's been well worth the wait.

To men, fathers and fatherless, mentors and mentees....and the God who is the author and redeemer of it all, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Friday Arts: "Pregnant Desire" (mixed medium)

I hesitated.

I remember when my bro-in-law saw this art piece for the first time. His first response was, "Cool, I really like the font and design on that!" Then..."You may want to put that away before the guys come over for the party."

Smile/Sulk

This was me "putting it out there." One of those times where so much hope and longing was being awakened I literally felt pregnant with desire.

Sometimes though I confuse the HOPE that fills me with getting my desires met right away.

Case in point. When I painted this I had met someone who really intrigued me.

And as the story goes, he turned out not to be good for me.

But that doesn't mean the desire and longing expanding within was wrong, rather whom my heart was tempted to attach to was misdirected.

That's what is so tender about H O P E.

When we choose hope we are saying my longings aren't something to kill, rather something to open up to, expand in me, carry me...

I live in this tension. Wanting to kill my heart to longing for fear of disappointment (this of course is self protective) verses opening my heart and bringing the longings to Jesus (if I don't do this the greater risk comes from pretending it's not there and where my heart may wonder to try to fill it).

And so I'm learning to bring all of my desires, longings, hopes, disappointments, frustrations, you name it, all of it to Jesus.

Laying them at His feet. (well, it may go more like, here you go, wait can i have that back, oh okay you have my good, here you go again)

This is what "Pregnant Desire" is about, the call for us to live with hearts full of longing and hope for more, faith for what is unseen, and abiding trust in the Good Author who writes the best story for each one of us (even when, for the moment, it may mean hope deferred).

How is your longing and hope being expanded lately?

p.s. spend some time in Hebrews 11 and let it expand your vision to HOPE

The Metaphor of Marriage

When I first started learning Soul Care from Patti I wasn't sure how couples would respond to me as a counselor who was single. I mean come on, even I might roll my eyes as a young doe-eyed woman began a monologue about the beauty, virtue, and splendor to the metaphor of marriage and how great it was they were seeking help in their marriage.

But ironically, Patti told me differently. "Susie I think because you hold up the image and standard, not jaded by the disappointment, you invite us to see it as Christ intended."

I had Patti to thank. Early on in my twenty-something spiritual formation, I was recovering from a broken heart and was left rather skeptical about how a union like this could ever work. It was then that Patti courageously invited me into "the metaphor of marriage."

What?

Susie, you have to first and foremost think of it in it's original context and ideal. Christ and the church. Husbands and wives in their union are to reflect that truth. It is only then that you can develop eyes to see what a husband and wife are struggling with in their marriage and what God is wanting to heal and reveal through them.

W O W !

She then began to paint the most beautiful picture of Jesus loving his church so much that he gives himself over to her again and again, for better or for worse. He loves to put her on display to celebrate her beauty, grace, and dignity. She blossoms in His Presence and people look-in wondering, "What's going on? I want that...How do I get it?" She joyfully comes under his tender strength and fierce love because she trusts him. He is always looking out for her best interest, coming alongside her shortcomings, and because of that special dignity she feels from him, she wants nothing more than to follow His ways and share in the adventure of life with him forever.

So are you like me? Did your heart weave in and out wondering whether I was talking about the church or marriage? And about mid-way, did you let out a deep sigh, wondering "When was the last time I experienced a marriage like that? Let alone came close in my marriage?"

When I first began to understand this, both the gift and crucible of marriage, all I wanted to do was marriage counseling. Because I think I got it...really got it!

Did these couples have any idea of the power and magnitude of healing that could be brought about through their love? Or worse, the devastation their bitterness and rejection of each other could cause?

Husbands.

Wives.

The reason your union has been assaulted from day one, is not because you are a failure, a mess of a christian, rather the enemy hates what you share and the image you bear! He uses every scrap of trash he can grab on, early on, to take you out. He hates love and he hates love that births life!

So what if spouses stopped seeing the other partner as the enemy and learned to fight for their spouses heart, as a reflection of Christ's love and his commitment? What if in the midst of all the tension, misunderstanding, woundedness, men and women began to speak words of life to one another? Guided each other into healing? Had the courage to ask others for help?

This is the gift John and Staci Eldredge have given us in Love & War.

Could there be a better title about marriage?

This is no news that I am fans, allies, comrades, whatever you want to call it of the Eldredges. I may not agree with every jot and tittle, but let's just say the very fact that they had the courage to sit down, pull up their sleeves, and offer the nitty gritty of their marriage, is reason enough for me to read it and want to learn from it. John and Staci are the kind of kingdom people who have helped me again and again stay the course (and prepare the course for marriage).

Not everyone gets a Patti Cepin who modeled, explained, and invited me into her own sacred crucible of marriage (to which, John and Patti, I am forever grateful). But I think a lot of you wish more couples, like the Cepins and Eldredges, would invite you in to learn from their marriage, if nothing less than to know you are not alone and there is hope.

Consider this my war cry for couples everywhere...Let's Start a Revolution. And like all Revolutions, it starts with the courage of the few... Why not gather a group of couples with open hearts (which almost always means broken hearts) and begin to journey together reading Love & War, letting it stew in your hearts, togather stand against the enemy's schemes, and go kick some kingdom butt together!

I can't help but wonder how the face of 21st century Christianity would be turned upside down!?!?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM & DAD!

Thanks for choosing the beautiful risk of marriage and seeing it through!

And the craziness of having four extrovert kids and letting us have ALL our opinions!!!

I love you SO much!

Here's to years more of love, life, and new memories.

Cheers!

XOXO