How Great Thou Art

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works Thy hand hath made.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Lord, when I consider this past year--when I consider the awe, wonder, magic, and glory of this year I scarce can take it in. Last year, on this day, when we walked that Labyrinth prayer walk a second time because it just felt right the first time to go inward but this time to step outward as a symbol. To say to you, YES! all the journey up to now was worth it. Who I've become, who I've seen you to be, My First Love, who you are making me....Yes, Lord. I will offer her. I will open up. I will risk something. I will offer me, laying low and being less than perfect I will let you take my life and let it be consecrated unto Thee. Lord, I will spill out my life however you ask, with whomever you ask, each day, again and again. 

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

And three days later from that prayer walk, choosing to show up to the unknown. The blindest date I'd ever been on (is blindest a thing?) and just saying "Yes." Yes, to the awkward. Yes, to the sweaty brow and imperfect hair from the triple digits of that day. Yes, to keeping the conversation going when we felt all over the place and I wasn't sure what to make of Him. Yes to staying open to the possibilities when I could have judged and overanalyzed and concluded it wasn't enough.

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

And Jesus you came! What j o y, what utter j o y fills my heart today. Not the far off, distance of heaven but the n o w! Your outstretched arm, your tender embrace. You gave me a giant wink and smile, "Oh dear one. You were never forgotten. I have always heard your trembling tears in the loneliness of the night. I have taken on your ache and longed with you for your partner in this life. I have never been intimidated by "Adam." Haha, honey! No, no. I was waiting....letting the desire draw you. You were not the only part of the story, you see. It's always hard for my friends to see this, that Our Father is working within the boundaries and visions for The Greater Story and that involves others. Yes, sweetheart. I was doing a work in R...Oh, as you say Mr. F's story. Would you not agree now, the timing, perfect?"

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Jesus, as I write this from our bedroom, with our things, and waking up to this man, I weep. You have given me good gifts. Before Mr. F and now. I am flourishing. We are flourishing. And you are The Giver. The Sustainer. The Source. Thank you feels so trite but the holiest, most humbling words I can utter today from this place, this new perspective. 

Thank You.

Selfie I took the evening of our date. Yes, leia braids!

 (have never done my hair that way since..haha)

Two weeks later at Mr. F's place.