You know, I'm not sure exactly how I feel about sharing on this thing. When I journal it's for me and the Lord, yet somehow it goes far beyond just He and I I'm learning. What to keep private? What to share with others? But share in cyberspace??? I just don't know.
Recently I shared this with a small group in a prayer time and it was really used to touch the community. I'm sure you're like me, some days with God are simple even mundane, yet there are other times when He blows your socks off! One day I'm thinking "do I even really hear you?" and the next "I can't believe we can be this close!"
So, alas, here it is my journaling (which by the way the Spirit is working out and it sounds romantic and wonderful on paper but it's disruptive and uncomfortable to say the least...Where I am weak, He is strong!)
Song of Songs 2:14
January 23, 2008
(God to me)
My Beloved when you want to crawl up and hide show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is lovely. This is often the times you don't think you're lovely, the panic and pull you feel inside is to not be seen and move on to putting the focus on another. The enemy tells you you're hogging attention and an annoyance. Good Riddins! You are lovely and by opening yourself up you open others up to Me. I will sustain you, support you, and enable you to step out from hiding and there Beloved, there you will taste my lavish love, there my sweetheart you will see what I see; the work I have begun and am carrying out until glory! How marvelous when you step out from the cleft of the rock--then My light catches your face and reminds you and others to continue to step out of hiding.
My Beloved daughters hide too often, if only they knew I am He, the one that cannot stop glowing and beaming at their sweetness. I am the One who longs for them to catch my gaze. I am the one who is writing love songs again and again about my deep desire for relationship.
Lord the other night when I saw P.S. I LOVE YOU at the theater with Elizabeth, I was so undone at that man's love for his wife. It was imperfect but their union and openness with each other opened up that raw place in me wondering, "will I ever love like that?" better yet, will I ever let someone love me like that...Oh those walls, ones I don't even know are still there. But I feel it, physically feel it, when I see relationships like theirs--they obviously felt great freedom to let their spouse feel the weight of who they are. Only very rarely have I felt that...
I've got to... Oh, even as I write that I'm realizing the impossible! Only you can transform that in me. You and only You know the ingredients I need to be formed and shaped into that...
You have my permission. Bring her out from the cleft of the rock.