It's hard to think about writing a post at 9:45pm. It's been a long day, a longer night. My heart is muddled with sorrow, hope, struggle, soul achiness....
I spent the night printing photo's for Christina's memorial Saturday.
There they were, the photos on a screen trying to capture a life.
What story will my photos tell? What do we truly take away from all this? What was the message beaming from the screen?
I clicked on each folder which opened to subfolders each telling the unfolding story of a baby, who became a girl, who became a teen, who became a woman and somewhere in all there was adopted by a King. New l i f e. True h o p e.
And on the cusp of womanhood found cancer.
The tension of tragedy and glory glaring on the screen before me.
The little girl in the pictures had no idea what was ahead?
The high school senior with tassel and flower lei knew nothing of her coming anguish.
But she also knew nothing of the coming glory. The glory of a heart coming fully alive.
Alive to heartache, alive to risk, alive to love, alive to hope, alive to value, alive to the giving and receiving, alive to the tensions of kingdom life breaking into an earthly norm.
And we all watched. We all listened. We all read. For where there is death, surely l i f e is right on the cusp.
The image of all those photos up on a screen haunts me and draws me. The beauty and fragility of one life. The screen's light beaming into my soul...
Relationships are what matter. The lives before you. The life within you. Let My life seep into the deepest crevasses of your heart. Then pour it out, all out. Don't ration it. Don't live so cautiously. Spill yourself out for the sake of love. Show up to life. Show up to the tensions. Wrestle with reality. Seek after truth. Let yourself be comforted by one another. Let another bear the weight of who you are and who you long to be. Open up to love--the messy, awkward, growing, learning wings of grace.
And we all pause to grieve and celebrate our friend, taking full flight into the arms of g r a c e.