Nike had something here.
I have been on a blog hiatus for quite some time and I know it's time to come back.
Since we last left off, I had become a legit career gal and lived a mover-and-shaker life in customer service and sales working for a national medical corporation (who knew?). Eleven months later, I left my mover-and-shaker position and took a giant
(well more like baby steps, little by little, until the door opened enough to walk through to the next door and the next).
I now know what it's like to be an 8 to 5'er, do expense reports, weekly sales reports, host inservices and "make the sale." But you know what? My heart was dead doing it. Don't get me wrong, I loved the people, but at the end of the day my heart just wasn't in what I was selling. I wanted to tell more God stories, hear more God stories, write more God stories. And guess what? He prepared the way...
Part-time job. Check.
Book editor. Check.
Soul care clients. Check.
Community to stand with me. Check.
Life is funny. You never know what's around the bend? But I find in the midst of daily life, God's purposes are going forth. He is moving, directing, guiding...the thing of it is though (and oh how very aware this job made me) the everyday grind and energy that moves us often has very little of His Spirit present.
I shut out the very One I'm longing for...Christ's life inside me and around me.
Each day for work as I made my way up the Cuesta Grade in my car I tried to focus my heart on God: pray, worship, reflect, but inevitably my "get 'er done, efficiency is supreme" side began to rule out the kingdom space I was trying to make room for. The flesh goes against the spirit. The spirit of this world is active and real, colluding with my old nature to steal His life in me.
Never, than in this job position, had I been so aware of what I'm up against. Daily life in this world threatens to steal the LIFE of God in me. And God knows I need LIFE!
So I'm inviting you to ask the same questions I'm asking myself:
Will I risk believing there is more to LIFE than the daily grind?
Will I be the one who moves in a different direction than the many?
The one who doesn't race off to the next thing and stops to listen?
The one who drives slower present to her surroundings rather than frazzled and furious darting in and out muttering, "Drive people!"
So I wonder? Now that I've created more room to be still, be present, be creative, be available...will I be? I want to be. Need to be. But will I choose it? Believe there's a new life and way available to me in the everyday. That the spirit of this world, the flesh, and the enemy no longer get the final say. Will I slow down to even stop, recognize, and see the LIFE available? Stop to pause and reflect, confess, and realign myself with Christ and His Kingdom?
I don't know. (It's the truth).
But I want to be.
Jesus I need more. Shepherd me into this new life you felt worth dying for? Please don't let me settle. Teach me to anticipate, trust, and depend on Your involvement. Come Lord. Come.