Wednesday, January 16, 2013
I've felt like a bear lately. No, not the roaring, exploratory one you may have in mind. Rather the yawning, hunker down for a long winter's nap bear.
It's been cold.
Cooler than most Californians are used to (it's rather hysterical how wimpy we are).
The thing about my house is it's sometimes colder inside than outside. It's an old place. One gas heater in the living room. When I get home, all I want to do is turn on the space heater in my room and jump in to bed. Hunker down and cozy up.
It goes against the usual Central Coast lifestyle.
Most days here are sunny and somewhere between 65 and 75. I can hear my dad's voice now, "You live in one of the most beautiful places and climates in the whole world." As a teenager the statement fell on def ears. Now I get it.
But here's the thing with this kind of climate, I often feel an expectation to be "doing something" with the outdoors and this beautiful place. Now don't get me wrong, I totally love and appreciate where I live. However, as someone who has often felt an expectation (put on herself) to be up, busy, and social the perfect climate to be out and about can only add to the pressure.
I am coming to see why seasons, both physical and spiritual, are so important.
Winters crisp air and barrenness helps name an internal reality in me. Affirming the importance of replenishment, quiet, and hiddenness. When the trees lose their leaves it is a very stark, almost sad picture. But it is for a time. We know her leaves will return.
Yet in the human soul, we seem more apprehensive. If someone is sullen, quiet, even hurting we try to make it summer when where they need to be is winter. Winter is good. It has it's place in the spiritual seasons.
This week's weather has been a reminder of this to me. A quiet cool breath from God, "It's okay to be where you are. Nestle in. The warmth will come."
p.s. now some humor about this cold spell