Monday, January 14, 2013

Sacred Moment Monday

My moment happened small-like.  A teensy turn in the interior life.
image courtesy of The Australian
Last night I watched the Grammy Awards. (Spoiler Alert) Hugh Jackman won best actor for his performance in Les Miserables. He did a great job. I believed him as Jean Valijean.

What was so refreshing to hear about last night in his acceptance speech was him talk about his self doubt. He shared about the night he got home from shooting and told his wife he'd made a terrible mistake. He wanted to give the part to someone else.

He doubted. He is standing at the pedestal actors dream of throughout their lives!? And. He. Doubted.

Didn't think he had it in him.

Most days that's me.

What do I really have to offer?

Does my life really say something that matters?

What do I possibly have to bring that someone else couldn't do a hundred times better?

Oh what a deviant little harasser you are Miss Self Doubt!

Yet, how somehow necessary you have become in the process of overcoming.

Self doubt steals. It is my weakness.

I hate it! Yet I befriend it often.

But....I never tire of experiencing the beauty released when it's overcome. When the doubt provides the pressure to enter t r u s t.

Today I'm reviewing my notes for a retreat I'm speaking at this weekend for Asian American Christian Fellowship (AACF) at Cal Poly SLO.  I love to speak. I love to share His heart for kingdom life. I love to rejoice at the work He's done in my life.

Yet every time. Each. And. Every. Time.  I doubt.

I wonder if I really have much to say? Do I offer any of his life, truly?

And as I reviewed, I began to enter the words on the page. Take them in. Get excited at the truth. Celebrate the life.

Before I knew it the shift happened. Subtle. Quiet. Unassuming.

I  have something to offer because I am the bearer of His image, I am one in whom Christ dwells.

I have a story to sing, This is my story, this is my song loving my Savior all the day long.

I have something to bring, the unique experiences, gifts, stories, and facets of my life in Christ. What once was will never be the same, for he is forming me into His very likeness! He has changed my life.

The gospel is freedom. The gospel is life. This is the b e s t story on earth to tell.

And God has allowed me to do it! He's allowed you to do it!

How is he overcoming your self-doubt?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Worry and doubt are just old men, carrying loads of feathers they think are lead.... RCS