That desolate, barren place.
She is always drawing me back.
Twelve years ago Jesus drew me there, alone and apart, stripping me of any broken wells I had been drinking from. Inviting me into the kingdom way where death becomes l i f e, barrenness pregnant h o p e.
One day, walking along a dirt sidewalk I came across these words on a plaque, "A sense of time and place."
Reflecting on it, the Spirit reminded me what a great gift time and place serves in cultivating our hearts. He gives us living metaphors for the things unfolding in our lives. This helping to ground our reality, name our existence, and describe the internal terrain where we so desperately need our Savior.
This time going back to the desert helped me to c e l e b r a t e and
w o r s h i p the Lover of my Soul. All he has done and continues to do to bring about His life in me. Remembering the Bridegroom who pursued me alone and apart, who fiercely went after the things that were holding me back from true intimacy. This tender Jesus who took it all away, only to replace it tenfold.
6 [I can feel] his left hand under my head and his right hand embraces me!
7 [He said] I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field [which are free to follow their own instincts] that you not try to stir up or awaken [my] love until it pleases.
8 [Vividly she pictured it] The voice of my beloved [shepherd]! Behold, he comes, leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart. Behold, he stands behind the wall of our house, he looks in through the windows, he glances through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
11 For, behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing [of birds] has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth and ripens her green figs, and the vines are in blossom and give forth their fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
14 [So I went with him, and when we were climbing the rocky steps up the hillside, my beloved shepherd said to me] O my dove, [while you are here] in the seclusion of the clefts in the solid rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. (Song of Solomon 2:6-14)
And this kind of love, this kind of holy pursuit in the lowliest of places within has made all the difference. The place of shame has become the place of resplendent beauty.
For that, I am awed and sit in holy wonder.