Thursday, September 11, 2014

Her, Again

I don't think this struggle of comparison is new to our generation. It may feel more in the forefront of our consciousness with social-media but it's been a core struggle of the feminine heart ever since Eve decided she wanted to be like God.

There's a funny little thing that goes on in that Genesis exchange. Eve wants to be like God, knowing good and evil, but what she has failed to internalize is that she already was like God, created in His image. She dwelt with God. She walked with God. She was created by God to do good things with Him.

But. It. Wasn't. Enough.

She did not trust where the boundary lines had been set. She did not believe the limits were part of the b l e s s i n g. She did not trust God to be God and her portion to be enough.

And I follow in her footsteps. We all do.


That could be the end of the story. In fact, I'm often tempted to tell myself, Nothing's ever gonna change. I will always feel this gaping reality that I don't measure up, I am a disappointment. Then because I am a Daughter of Eve, I begin to strive and try hard and manipulate who I am on the outside with what's really going on inside to cover over that terrible emptiness.

But here's the deal....this fallen reality no longer has to rule me. It may tempt me, but it's not the end of the story. The story is much more h o p e f u l.

I may be pulled to try to measure up to you. I may even sweat and labor in vain to get your approval. I may exhaust myself and exhaust you to do it.



In Christ, I have tasted a different fruit....within.

In Christ, I have had sweet moments of r e s t.

In Christ, I have felt seen and known and sought out.

In Christ, I have been set apart, chosen, refashioned.

And when I set my heart there, when I disrupt that nanosecond decision to prove myself and instead look on Him the temptation doesn't look so attractive. My "person of the hour" to compare myself to so I'm assured to come up short, is humanized. Befriended. A Daughter of Eve too. But a Daughter of the King more!

She struggles too.

She is on a journey.

She is human.

She has limits.

And it's when I get here, in this heart s p a c e, that I am able to o f f e r me and r e c e i v e you. Just. As. You. Are. Because He accepts me just where I am. He fills that gaping hole with His l i f e. He expands my vision to see the wide open spaces he has given me and the boundary lines that have fallen on good places.

He reveals the limits are the blessing. For my good, my protection.

He reveals I am enough because He said so.

He reveals his wondrous works in my heart and reminds me to sing His song---the glorious song of His story, in my life. Whether in word, deed, presence, or hiddenness when I look in His eyes and catch His gaze I'm caught up in this n e w  l i f e and it's good, beautifully messy, and expansive!


The urgent is temporal.

The measuring up feels ridiculous.

The stillness is magical.

The moment is full.

I am who I am. He has set His gaze on me. He will carry it out. He has dreams for me far above my own.

Glory! Birthed in rest.

Glory! Revealed through the new covenant....a new way.

Glory! Unveiled in an intimate moment with the Savior.

And in the wild, kingdom reality of a sacred moment, there is no other person I'd rather be.


And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:1-10 ESV)

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